Weird Week

It's been kind of a weird week. My grandpa died on Friday. It's all fine, we were expecting this to come soon; he was 92 and his health had been failing for a while and he had been moved into a hospice care. Incredibly, he got COVID a couple weeks ago, but was asymptomatic and recovered just fine. Then, this past week, some of his existing health problems started to come back and he didn't make it.

I wasn't that close with my grandpa or anything. To be honest, he wasn't a very cuddly sort of guy. Most of my fondest memories with him were when he taught me and my cousins how to play dominoes and poker and dice. My grandma and him live just down the street from me -- I always biked past their house, but I haven't seen them since 2019 because of COVID. My mom was visiting him pretty much every day for the past couple months, but that could be hard too, because the visiting policies at his care center were really strict because of COVID and sometimes she wasn't allowed to get in for days at a time.

I guess it just feels really weird because he died on Friday, but it just sort of felt like any other day. My sister called me on the phone to tell me that he had passed in the morning, and I took the train home from Kyra's, and then it was just kind of...normal? He didn't want a funeral service or anything, and I haven't seen my extended family in over 2 years now, so maybe it won't feel real until I do. I guess it just feels weird, weird because at home it almost feels like we're not really acknowledging it. My family can be kind of weird about stuff sometimes, I feel like. There's all these things we don't really talk about, these big, like, emotional valleys you're not really supposed to go into. I talked to my mom a little to see how she was doing when I got home, but then at dinner, we all just talked about the Olympics and stuff. It's got me feeling a little out of whack.

Because of that, I'm kind of having a hard time thinking of how to put words together for this post. I might delete or edit this later, but for now, I guess this is just sort of my stream of consciousness. Feeling a little funky. I don't know if I'm grieving or what that's really supposed to mean in this situation.

Anyway, on a lighter (kind of) note, I watched the first season of that show Cheer that Rachel mentioned the other week. I had no idea the cheer champions were so close to Dallas! It was a really interesting watch, and I agree with Rachel, it definitely brought up a lot of marching band feelings. Sometimes our school's cheerleading team would share the gym with the band, and I always felt like we had a lot in common as sports.