Since moving from Texas after 10th grade, something that I've reflected upon a lot is friendship. I've found my friendships to be some of the most profound and important relationships in my life. I think part of it is that I wasn't interested in dating in high school, so instead I focused on friendships. Just as any relationships, I found that they could cause pain as well as joy. Especially when I first came to my new school in Idaho, I had a lot of inner turmoil about my lack of friends and missing my friends in Dallas. I'm not sure if I've completely addressed those feelings, but.... it's ok!
Coming to Smith, I was so incredibly grateful for the people I found. With coronavirus and the news about next semester, it's especially hard. Even though I'm not able to be around anyone besides my family, I have a lot more inner peace than in high school, which I can thank my friends for. I used to have no confidence in my ability to make new friends, but now I have a bit more!
I could go on and on and on about all the people I've come to consider my friends over the years, but I will spare you. You guys already know about my Smith friendships, so instead I thought I'd tell you another story :). BUT never forget!! I miss you guys sooooo much. The thought that we may not see each other for so long puts me down in the dumps. I especially love when my friends reciprocate/humor my penchant for letter writing* (even though my response rate is so sporadic) <3 Definitely drinking i miss my friends juice on this Wednesday evening. ((also the title of this post is a ref to this song)) * shoutout to Karina, Priya, and Caitlin
So to go off the story of feeling really isolated and lonely when I moved, you may wonder if things ever got better? Well, in fact, they did! Just not straight away. It was hard keeping in touch with my Dallas friends, but I don't blame anyone. I'm bad about communicating by text/social media myself and everyone was living their own lives which I respected. Now, I'm happy knowing I still care deeply for the people I thought I would when I left.
I made a few friends when 11th grade started, and I'm thankful for them. I was in band, and I'll admit I didn't have the best attitude at that point because I didn't want to be there anymore but my mom made me... But I met a couple of cool people. In general, I think most people there and in my classes thought I was weird because I was really shy and quiet.
In AP Bio, the first day I sat with this girl (Soomin) who was also pretty shy. We started talking day by day. Usually it's easier for me to start talking to people who are also reserved in class. It wasn't until I would say the last month of school in that class that through her, I became friends with Tiffany and Anita. By senior year, it was nice to have people to rely on and who genuinely seemed like they wanted to be friends. I know someone is my friend when I can feel silly around them, which I did in this case! It was nice to have people more in the know about the school, to eat lunch with, and to know I could stick with in classes. I made more friends through them like Eunsun and Seungyeon (not like a lot but it's ok, I prefer to hang out with a small number of people), and things weren't so lonely after that!
After leaving for college, I've only been in Boise a handful of occasions and only really for a couple days at a time (since I spent most of summer in Texas). So it's sad that we don't get to reconnect in person often. Even now I've been in Boise for 3+ months and we haven't been able to meet up because of the virus (I get the sense they're also being careful which I'm happy about) and that I live a bit away from everything. In any case, I'm super appreciative of them, and I feel like I don't talk about it enough :)
(l to r) anita, me, tiffany
(l to r) seungyeon, eunsun, tiffany, soomin, me
I have the most photos of tiffany and anita (most were selfies I wasn't sure she'd want here haha) bc they likes taking pics the most lol.
and I leave you with a piece of advice that one of our star readers reminds me:
Friendship is a two way street!!
This was cute :’)! Moving is hard, but there are always good things that come from it. You find yourself more as well as meet some cool peeps. Also, your last line is a nice reminder. Personally, I consider how dear my friends are to me but never the other way. Only recently, have I come to realize that my friendships are <3