Honest Kin

Uh, heyyyyy. Idk why it feels like it has been forever since I last posted even though it was literally last weeks 🤷🏾‍♀️. Ig it is because I have so much I wanted to talk about but like every other week, I unfortunately forgot most of it with the week 😭😭. But I do remember 2 things: honesty and kins.

May and I were talking the other day and we were talking about the art of ✨games✨. Not the ball and board games, but the social games people play. Like instead of being forthcoming and concise, people rather give the run around and be ingenuine for one "justifiable" reason or another. Personally, I don't really play games and rather avoid drama at all costs prefering to handle tense situations either in the moment or within the day of the sitch and sharing honest sentiments and facts to resolve the issue. And for the longest I thought everyone was like that, because after all that is what TV taught me: honesty is always key. As I am getting older though, I am realizing that is just an ideal not a fact of life. People actually rather be coy and give the run around and have been working on crafting this coyness and run around behavior since they were wee lads! Me and May were saying we think we didn't get this memo since we were isolated to the "weirdos" of our peers growing up, and due to this shared isolation we found close community amongst the "weirdos" and therefore learned the value of being honest and consequently vulnerable. But for a lot of the normies, they didn't get to experience the beauty of honesty because socializing is hard and weird as a kid and teenager and you develop these weird coy and roundabout behaviors because you are trying to avoid coming off too "interested" and/or weird and ultimately getting isolated... Idk where I am going with this but basically the older I get the more I realize that I really am on the fringes of society and don't understand what it means to socialize like an average person because doing so just doesn't make life better, but worse ://. Unfortunately, that is how most people operate so by me and May doing things our way, it is just further pushing us into (onto? Idk which preposition is supposed to be used, help meeee) the fringes :')))))))).

Anywayyyssss, me and Aboni were talking about our kins a few weeks back (and whatever your thinking of kin as Erin, forget it 🔫-- kin is just characters you relate and identify hardcore with) and we were saying how we don't see how each other's kins is our kins so I am also gonna go into it since I have nothing better to do (I say this as I am at work and have been interruptted like 10x so far in making this post 😭😂😂). So my kins are my kings Yuki, Yuuta, and Shinji. Idk, I feel umcomfortable talking about it because I feel like it a literal portal into my mind and soul in a weird way. Their actions and thoughts as potrayed in their shows is the exact way that I would think and feel and respond in their shoes-- that's as deep as I want to go, cuz likeeeee explaining/describing them too much is like analyzing and describing myself to you guys, which makes me uncomfortable. But some commonalities I noticed amongst all of them is that: for varying reasons they are isolated from their peers over things they can't control, they all have burdens that were dumped onto them by their family, they are all depressed af 😂, and receiving acceptance/love from people is something they all have to learn is valid to want. As forYuki, he is the first character I really kinned, but I didn't realize that at the time. Because when I was younger, I was just like "he is the best written character-- no one compares. He's just amazing" and I was expecting the same energy when I talked with Aboni but she was just like" he's meh 🤷🏾‍♀️" so then I was like whatever, she's just one person and looked it up on good ole Tumblr but it was just the same, the yuki lover community wasn't that big and I remember seeing a post that said "Yuki stans are all just kinnies" and my whole world shifted and I went on a rabbit hole of yuki character analyses and realized that all the characterization of him I do just relate to 😭 (though I still will die on the hill that he is a well written character). Then my other kin, Yuuta, I literally cry over. When I read his volume series, I was instantaneously hooked to it and literally reread that thing more than I would like to admit. So when the movie came out I was pumped to see it but little did I know how emotionally invested I was to the series until this certain scene where Yuuta is about to die and this girlboss babe basically tells him he doesn't have to self-loathe and that he can just live life just wanting to be accepted and that doesn't mean he is a bad/evil/selfish person to want that and it made me WEEP. And I have watched the movie 3x now and still, I cry at the same part every time 😂. Then there is Shinji, he is my most recent kin and I think I just relate to him a lot in terms of like my outlook/philosophy on living life. A negative state of mind I think I battled with often when I was a kid/teenager, is believing that doing for others equates to loving someone. And with this mindset I grew isolated/lonely because despite receiving help from others and giving all of myself when I did for others, I felt empty and I believe this way of being led to a lot of people actively or inadvertently taking advantage of me which led to me feeling like life wasn't worth it because despite doing "good" nothing ever came of it. Errrrr,, so yeah... Do with that info what you would-- do youuu relate? Does this align with how you perceive me? Honestly, I would love to hear you guys' kins and why and how you relate to them :D!

[Yuki^, Yuuta^, Shinji^]

Anyways, that's enough about all that. As usual I will leave pics from my week!

Ate oatmeal pies for the first time in years, I forgot how crazy they go

[Sebastian got the flu so it was a while since I saw him (a while as in 4 days, but who's judging right ;P), so it was nice seeing him hanging out. His dog was being weird and acting like she was seeing ghosts and then we went to Cava to see if Tiktok was overhyping or not. Then the sunset that day was so purrrty!]

According to spotify this was my most played song which I am not surprised by tbh

My nephew was sitting in my lap and every time we would talk, he would look up at me like this 😂

Me and my niece slept together and this is the last time I do that: all night she kept slowly creeping towards me until she was on top of me, so all night I was fighting her off of me 💀

Atlanta was lowkey popping off at dusk, so I took a pic of her

[I went to support my friend's little sister's art by going to a local market event and buying her art-- tbh I wish I had more money because I would've bought more from her! Then me and Marina got losted in the woods trying to make it to the market thing because the guides pointed in the wrong direction 😭😭. And look at the macaroons, aren't they cute???!]

My niblings and I set up the tree, but they did most of the work (peep how the colored lights don't make it to the top of the tree 😭😂😭)

[Felt like taking pics in the tub, so I did 🤷🏾‍♀️]

I did the whole "type in men and see what the Tiktok algorithm thinks you want to see" and I got say, I am disturbed by some of the results-- what makes tiktok think I want option 2 and what is tibbies, the rest is pretty accurate tho 😂

[Sebastian and Marina visited me at my work and when Sebastian was taking me home, we took some pics in the fog that was SUPER thick (it was extremely foggy for like 2 days)]

More fog content, tbh the pics are doing it much justice T_T

I voted again, my canidate luckily one :')))

Called kiki and her doggos

okieeeee byeeeeee ❤️❤️❤️✨